As I think about the story of Sarai, yes I can see God’s promises revealed, yes I see His plan ultimately came through. And yet, I am stuck on the ways of the heart. I am aware of what was culturally acceptable. I am aware that it was not so outlandish for a wife to give her maidservant to her husband. But from one woman to another, how much pain do we not see in the story? How much pain do we not see in the faces of others in our own world? What I am discovering as I dig deeper into God’s Word, is comfort in knowing that I am truly not alone in my secret places. That God will use our pain to refine us, and our faith will be tested, but God does see our hearts. He knows when we choose badly, and He loves us even still. He comes to us softly when we need His comfort. He shakes us awake when we slumber in sin. It is His plan and His creation, we walk on holy ground, yet we feel like queens of the universe and take things into our own hands. Unless we are seeking God first, our eyes will fall on the best we can come up with in the moment, usually driven by emotion. Our emotions fuel us too quickly in the wrong direction many times. A decision made, done. And we are left with the consequences. We are left staring into something that can never be undone. But God. He is our rescuer. Our knight in shining armor. Our Prince. Our King. And His power is awesome. His love covers and conquers. Scars remain but life will be sweeter in the places He heals. We just have to accept what is, and lean into His arms, and let what will be, just be. His story for us will end well. And we will see that the end is not a stopping point, but the beginning of a beautiful ever after.
Heart walks wild envisioning gladness
reaping rewards of following sadness
led through the mazes of beauty and pain
no rest for the weary, walk on through the rain
guided by glimpses, sun glowing above
journey again to a promise of Love
heart takes the challenge, risky and bold
fight through the darkness, fight through the cold
shedding the layers of envy and hate
bear only pure love, the hour is late
burning ablaze, stoking embers within
truth burning fire, freedom reigns once again.