“It’s your story”, she said. There was so much grace offered in those words. My heart received this truth with a kindness I had not known before. The ache of my past I could no sooner forget, was soothed with the healing balm of honesty. I think everyone must come to the place where they can look back and sew the years together. Leave nothing out. Tell the story to yourself, all of it, leaving none of the chapters out. It’s your story. And when it comes time to tell it, you tell it. Not with “Once upon a time” or “In the beginning”, but letting the full story wrap around the present. Let it be what it is. Let what was be what it was. Offer grace to your own heart like we so easily offer it to others.
Offer yourself grace.
When I take the time to look at the whole picture, there are parts that can’t be erased no matter what blemish seems to blatantly ruin . Like a pearl being formed in an oyster, the grit becomes the grace. The dirt becomes beautiful if you will just let it ride. It doesn’t disappear, but is covered. Not washed away, not removed. Built upon. Formed into something of value. It becomes a precious jewel.
God’s love has wrapped around my dirt and is forming something precious in me.
He saw my worth before I was worthy and paid the highest price for me. My sweet Savior. My Jesus came for me. By His stripes I am healed, and it’s time to let my story unwind in His light. A story that is already known to God. Now I need to let it be known to me. No more running from the places that hurt. If He walks me there I am ready to go. I can see the process of smoothing away the rough edges, covering and filling with grace. Pain can be transformed into a precious pearl. But you have to leave it in it’s place. Honor the moments that are hard to think about. It is in giving honor to the pain that we honor how we felt, and as time moves so does the smoothing power of God’s healing love.
He covers the dirt and makes a space for grace to grow in the secret place of our pain.
This is the hidden treasure of faith. Hoping for the things unseen. Even in the midst of the mess right before our eyes. Pearls are forming in the places where we still our hearts and rest in the shadow of His wings. When we acquiesce and conform to the silent disciplines of hope and faith, our pearls become more precious. The struggle becomes the very catalyst in creating these valuable jewels.
So tell the story. Be honest in the struggle. Don’t care so much about crafting the perfect story because you want others to see what you only wish yourself to be. Just be. Give yourself some grace. Believe what God says, and remember what Jesus did in the name of love. Live today without trying to make up for yesterday. Tell it like it is, if only to yourself. God already knows the ending. And in the meantime…
It’s your story.